Your Body Calls the Shots

My eyelids are heavy with exhaustion but I can’t find sleep under these fluorescent lights. My arm itches and aches where the IV needle sits in my vein, pumping my body with fluids and antibiotics. I can’t seem to find anything to watch on the small TV across the room, so I endlessly flip through the 70 channels that somehow offer nothing but news, investigative crime dramas, and commercials for foods I can’t eat. The message is clear – my body has had enough.

This is the story of how I realized that prioritizing my health is more important now than ever.

The general stresses of the first, sleepless year as a new mom, turbulence and uncertainty in the federal workforce, and news stories about injustices performed against immigrants and the most vulnerable in our country were taking their toll. I needed to keep going – to keep working, to keep showing up for my son, to keep fanning the flame in my relationship with my husband, to keep the house at a somewhat livable standard of neatness, to keep my breastmilk supply up, to keep informed, to keep caring, pushing, doing.

I knew the actions I needed to take to relieve the stress in my body and to find a healthier balance to combat all of the stressors battering my psyche every day, but I couldn’t bring myself to do any of them. My routine from the before-times, when I had sleep and flexibility in my schedule, included a well-rounded, healthful diet, adequate sleep, regular movement, and a consistent meditation practice. These were not the before-times. Instead, I just scrolled through my Instagram feed, read “romantasy” novels to transport myself out of this world, and curled up in a ball on the couch (sometimes wallowing in self pity). After months of leaning heavily on these coping mechanisms, my body decided to take the reins and forced me to re-evaluate how I was managing stress.

On my first Mother’s Day as a mom, I was hit hard by daycare germs. My body ached, my forehead burned with fever, and my head felt like it was going to burst. I spent the day half conscious, serving as a human jungle gym for my son to climb all over. While that day was the peak of the illness, it took me the rest of the week to fully recover.

As soon as I turned a corner and started to feel okay again, I tore the plantaris muscle in my calf. How did I do that, you may ask? Was I running? Hiking? Doing something adventurous? No. I was walking across a parking lot. The pop and searing pain instantly brought tears to my eyes and a string of expletives to my lips. I hobbled back to the car and told my husband what happened in between sobs.

I had started running in the weeks leading up to this injury – nothing crazy, not even three miles every other day. What I didn’t know is that even though I felt like I could return to my pre-baby workout routine, I needed to take care during this postpartum period because, due to hormone balances associated with breastfeeding, I’m more prone to orthopedic injury and my ligaments and connective tissues are more relaxed than normal. I cancelled my weekend plans and set up shop on the couch for the next two days.

I bounced back from the initial intensity of the pain pretty quickly but my calf was still quite sore throughout the next week. During this time, I was also feeling a lot of discomfort in my abdomen. I brushed this pain off as constipation and thought it would resolve on its own. That Thursday night, my son accidentally kicked me in my stomach and I shrieked. My husband and I decided it was best to go to the emergency room. I wish I had had the forethought to pack a hospital bag.

Two nights, two CT scans, and countless bowls of Jell-o later, I was sent home with antibiotics, probiotics, and a prescription for a low-fiber diet to treat diverticulitis – inflammation in the digestive tract. Apparently, I learned over that weekend that both of my grandfathers had diverticulosis, a chronic condition that can be genetic. Stress can exacerbate or cause flare ups to the area, resulting in diverticulitis.

Okay, body, message received.

While experiencing chronic stress over the past several months, I would think to myself, I’ll rest/move/meditate when my son sleeps through the night…when my job uncertainty is resolved…when I’m done breastfeeding…when, when, when. After getting pummeled by wave after wave after wave the previous three weeks, I realized that it’s important to prioritize my health now more than ever.

Chronic stress can wreak havoc on the body – to me this looked like poor sleep (even outside the middle of the night feeds), full days without taking a deep breath, more processed foods, a weakened immune system, increased likelihood of injury while exercising, tension and tightness in my shoulders, neck, and hips, and susceptibility to moments of intense anxiety and depression.

I’m just over a month out from this turbulent time and, while still experiencing the aftershock of that intense period of health issues, I’m tuning back into my body. I recently left my full-time, 9-5 office job and am now self-employed. This has given me the flexibility to rest, move, and prepare health supporting foods – actions which have already made an immediate difference. I breathe deeply from time to time and am seeing more clearly, being more present in the now. I’ve also noticed that I’m more resilient during moments of anxiety and depression brought on by hormonal fluctuations.

I share all of this to say that prioritizing your health is more important now than ever. I know that I am not alone in feeling intense overwhelm by the current state of the world. It may seem like there just isn’t enough time to commit to your health, that you’ll rest/move/meditate/eat better when…[insert milestone here]. But, if you don’t take action, your body will force you to.

You may scoff and think “Easy for you to say, you quit your job. Not all of us have that luxury.” You’re right. As a health coach, I work with clients to develop health supporting habits that fit into their lives where they are today. My clients get great results that last because we’re consistently considering how their family, work, friends, and commitments fit into achieving their health goals. Otherwise, it’s like pushing a boulder up a hill and whatever results they achieve are short-lived.

I encourage you to consider taking one action today to support your health. Some examples of this may include:

• Taking a break from your screen and looking out a window, focusing on a tree in the distance for 30 seconds while breathing deeply

• Chewing your food 20 times before you swallow at your next meal

• Drinking a glass of water, and really being present in the moment by feeling the glass in your hand, listening to the sound of the water as it fills the glass, and noticing the temperature and feel of the water as you drink it

If you want to explore this deeper, send me a note at briana@peakenergyhc.com to set up a free 1-hour Double Your Energy Breakthrough Session where we will discover what your vision is for your health and energy, and uncover what might be stopping you, slowing you down, or preventing you from having what you want.

For now, take care of yourselves and each other.